Ah! The return of the blogger! Hehehe. As you can see, this is a new website. My old hosting/domain expired, so minove ko na lang yung entire blog ko dito sa Blogger. It's an old platform but it still does the job. Hehehe.

So lately, naramdaman ko na yung pagod sa work. Medyo mataas din kasi ang demand sa akin lately, kaya sabi ko sa wife ko na maglileave ako today. So we have decided na we should take some rest muna from all the work we are doing, tapos try naman naming magcheck-in somewhere: parang bakasyon ba, pero local lang para iwas hassle sa pandemiya. Sa pagod ko lately, isang linggo ko nang inaabangan ang leave/bakasyon/pahinga ko. Sobrang excited akong tamarin! 

Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na wala akong gagawin today: na ngayong araw, gagawa ako ng ibang bagay to break naman yung cycle na ginagawa ko sa lahat ng mga responsibilidad ko. Ayoko ng stress, ayoko ng pagod, ayoko ng demand, ayoko ng expectations; ang gusto ko lang is peace of mind... kahit ngayon lang. Pero mukhang imposible pala yun. May gagawin at may gagawin pa rin talaga ako kung gusto kong mangyari yung bakasyon na ineexpect ko.

Wala naman kasing masama sa rest. We all need rest. We rest after we work. We need to get some fresh air din talaga sometimes para maging productive tayo. God, in fact, rested on the 7th day of creation to give us a pattern ng rest and ipakita sa atin kung sino dapat ang object ng rest (Jesus Christ). The Sabbath was created for us kasi, sabi nga sa Psalms, the Lord knows our frame, na we are only made of dust (Psalm 103:14).

For the Son of Man is lord of the Sabbath.
Matthew 12:8 ESV

And he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.
Mark 2:27 ESV

Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind.
Ecclesiastes 4:6 ESV

Yung paghahanap ko ng peace of mind sa terms ko at the end of the day led me to doing the things that I normally do pa rin: naligo ako, kumain, namili ng isusuot, nag-secure ng bahay before going out, naghanap ng masasakyan, etc. You know what I mean. I cannot escape responsibility. 

Iniisip siguro ninyo na hindi responsibilidad or cares ang mga yan. Pero kung hindi, eh ano? They are still responses and actions we do para ma-accomplish yung gusto nating gawin. They still required my mind to function. They're still demanded of me by my own self. Responsibility is inescapable for everyone na able.

And I realized na nandoon yung problema ko: nasa definition ko ng "rest" or "peace of mind" yung issue. I was equating yung "rest" and yung "peace of mind" with "irresponsibility", with "laziness", with "being unavailable" instead of understanding na I can rest in Christ despite/amidst the responsibilities. I am seeking yung peace according sa ways ng flesh, and not sa truth ni God that these things are found in Him alone. If Christ is not the object of our peace and rest, we need to repent.

My desire for rest was selfish dahil hinahanap ko sya sa sarili ko (and para sa sarili ko)... It was proud, was not glorifying kay God, and was sinful. Even though I know this na, I still fell into the temptation to be lazy and irresponsible. Praise God talaga that my sins are forgiven (1 John 1:9) and He corrects and disciplines those whom He loves and receive as sons (Hebrews 12:6).

For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.
Romans 8:6 ESV

The desire of the sluggard kills him,for his hands refuse to labor.
Proverbs 21:25 ESV

So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
James 4:17 ESV

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2 ESV

God offers not yung peace of mind na superficial, pero yung peace na eternal, offered kay Christ. He does not offer us rest na temporary, but yung rest na everlasting at may assurance na He will sustain us in every way--even sa renewal ng strength na hinahanap ko mula sa pagod ko. If we rely sa Holy Spirit, yung time na lumalabas yung weaknesses natin will be the time sana for God to show His strength (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Was I looking for this kind of peace of mind and rest kanina? Honestly, I do not think so. Yes, I was thankful sa Lord for the short vacation and the providence, pero in my heart, my satisfaction was not in Him--it was in myself and in the means of rest na meron ako ngayon. 

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.
1 Peter 5:6-9 ESV

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31 ESV

The Lord will give strength to His people; The Lord will bless His people with peace.
Psalm 29:11 NASB1995

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.
Isaiah 26:3 ESV

Sa inconsistency ko, I found myself clinging sa ways ko on how to attain rest and peace ng mind. And in the process, I forgot to seek it from the Lord and forgot the promises of God about this matter. What a wretched man that I am! And I can very much relate kay Paul sa desire nya to be delivered from himself (Romans 7:24). Oh, how I long for that glorious day na I will be perfectly rested in peace sa sovereignty ni God sa resurrected body. 

Sa kung pano natin hinahandle yung desires and needs natin and how they must be fulfilled, we can clearly see na man is made for responsibility (Genesis 1:26-28). As I compare my character with the character of God, I see how desperately I need His grace, na I am very far from being consistently responsible like Him (Colossians 1:17). Kasi kung maaari nga lang talaga eh tatakasan ko na lang yung lahat ng responsibility para makapagpahinga. And that's how the flesh is--kung may opportunity for sin, it will really choose sin. Hence, the Bible never forgot to instruct us to die sa mga self natin daily and walk by the Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-25 ESV

Of course, this blog post does not showcase the extent ng personal burdens ko as I am being selective here sa kung ano ang dinidisclose ko. We all have our burdens, cares and concerns. Siguro greater pa nga yung sa inyo kesa sa anong sa akin. But regardless of how much burden you are carrying, if you're reading this post, cast your burdens upon the the Savior Jesus Christ for his yoke is easy and His burden is light. 

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

This too, I need to seriously practice more. May we all set apart Christ as Lord in our hearts na we will not look at the wrong things in our attempt to get some peace of mind. May God's grace be upon us all, friends! We need it.